a few questions

I realize these are trivial problems, and I feel kind of childish for asking about them, but if anybody has a solution to any of them please let me know, thanks

Speaking as another 'outsider', don't let it worry you. Fur or not, friends are friends, and they are what's important.

Trying to find out if others are furs... Well, that's a tall order. I have met exactly one person around my area face to face that is a self confirmed Fur. I have met about 30 that'll look at my desktop image or a picture on the wall and comment on how cool it is, can they get a copy, etc, but deny left and right being a fur whenever it comes up.

As for a 'Fursona', you don't really need one. True, most have them, but don't push it. Something'll come to you and you will KNOW that's your fursona. Until then, just be yourself.

To find other furs. Actually, this forum is a decent place to start. Another thing would be to search the net for specific keywords like 'my home town/state + Furry + group' or something similar. It's been said by many before, there are furs out there, you just gotta look for 'em.

Conventions are great to attend, but honestly, they are not the end all of Furry. If you feel attending would cause too many problems now, wait until you can go on your own. Yes, you will meet people there, but 99 percent of them you'll only talk to online after the con, if even that. Stick to local gatherings. They are out there, a lot less expensive, and would probably require a lot less explanation, if you feel it would be that large a problem.

Last little piece of advice: Being a fur doesn't make you different from everyone else, it just adds another dimension to your personality. Just be who you are, and you will be fine.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I just recently joined this forum and don't have anyfriends on here yet. I too am 16 and feel very strange asking my parents to PLEASE drive me up to Pittsburg for the con.

My first con, I didn't know more than a pawfull of furs... And I had a miserable time. The whole point of a con, is to hang out with friends who you don't see often, usually because of distance or whatnot.

My suggestion, is start making a list of people you want to meet and hang out with now and exchange phone numbers. The BEST part about a con, is hanging out with friends both new and old and doing stuff together. The dances, panels and events all just add to that. But at the core, it's about friends. And the best way to make friends I think, is by doing what you just did and posting your story. I think you'll find a number of furs who can relate.

Good luck and have fun!

Fursonas are not mandatory.

Heck, my fursona is nothing more than a virtual representation of my real life self. (just with some fur and rosettes added)

 
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My LJ - My Website

I've got ten years in this fandom and the best advice I can give you?

Relax.

Seriously. It took me five years to find myself in a proper furry form and I'm glad it took me that long to truly find my real self after, well, all the crap you're about to hit in school. It's gonna suck ass. Sorry to say.

But, my first con was at 20 and again, I'm glad I waited so that I could enjoy the experience fully. When I went? I went with one person I knew well and knew *of* a few folks going. I had a room setup through a few internet friends but otherwise? Didn't know a single person there by face. And you know what? One of the best things that ever happened to me was not knowing anyone, because it gave me the chance to meet everyone and be friends!

It was then I found my fursona and I haven't looked back on it, embracing what it was and how it evolved for me.

See? You got time. Relax. Chill. Eat gummi bears. You don't need to be tweaking out about alla this yet.

If you want to learn more about the fandom, get thee to Wikifur.
http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/WikiFur_Furry_Central

There's no secret handshake or anything. But you can make friends with total strangers at a con if you want to. Many furries are quite sociable.

You're fine without one, but if you want one, it's really not a hard process. (If you really, really want help, you can send me a message through the board AFTER the convention. Sadly, I'm hustling between now and the con.)

You can wait until you're 18,
or invite your parents along.
Uncle Kage does-and they attend every year now!
AC may be unusual to most people, but as Uncle Kage points out, it's specifically designed to be family-friendly. I mean, there's lots of ways to introduce the subject.

Have your parents ever read the comic strip "Pogo"?
How about watched cartoons with Pinky and the Brain, or the like? Look at our Guests of Honour list. If they're ok with comic books, they may have seen some of Mark Evanier's work as well. It's all in how you phrase your presentation.

Thanks guys, that helps. I guess I just feel like I don't fit in or belong anywhere right now and want something tangible that I can be a part of and relate to.

Your post has struck a chord in me; I should like to try and provide you with a few answers, - but I'm afraid that I would have to first ask you more questions.

A "fandom" is a collection of folks who share something particular in common - they are all "fans" of something. Can you tell me what it is that you are a fan of? Yeah, that should be obvious...but I would like to see your description of what you believe that you are a fan of.

Really? There is no one that you know who shares an interest in - well, whatever your answer to the first question turns out to be? No one who gets enthusiastic or enjoys sharing that thing that is important to you or gives you pleasure? Well, then, are there folks around you who actually take an active dislike in those things? Or are the people who are around you mostly oblivious to them? Do you share your interest, or do you feel the need to keep it hidden, either for fear that they won't understand, or that they will treat you as a child or a fool, or generally uncool?

I remember being 16; at 16, it is vital that you fit in with a group, and critical that it be the "right" group, for status and popularity...

...But I've noticed that folks who are Furry Fans don't do this. At some point they sort of acknowledge that they see things differently, have different interests and viewpoints, and tend to drop out of the popularity game. They are, at a certain level, 'liberated'. They become independent of thought and action. They have a bit higher intellectual curiousity about the world about them, and ask questions and seek answers. These are not bad qualities; and while they may lack certain elements found in Leaders - chiefly Influence over those around them - Furry Fans are definitely NOT "Followers".

Some Furry Fans get pegged as being "bookish". They would rather hang out with the adults at a gathering, than with their own peers - sometimes much to the heartache of their parents. And while they get in trouble to the same extent as other kids and young adults, it usually isn't in the same way. They seem too grown up or somber for their age, sometimes.

Mind you that these are just general observations on my part - a Furry Fan can have some, none, or all of these traits, and still be a Furry Fan. But Furry Fans, by and large, do not become Furry Fans because it is "popular".

Now, some of these folks, who at 10 or 12 years of age didn't seem to allow themselves the freedom to be 10 or 12, "grow up" (even more so!), follow all the rules, stay within the lines, and then - sometime between their early 20's and their mid 30's, something in them goes SPROING!, and that latent sense of awe and discovery and joy suddenly springs out, and they start to make discoveries about themselves and their world and their place in it that other, more mundane folks may or may not have discovered and then walked past on their way to "Real Life", but for these folks, these "Latent Furries", it is fresh and vital and invigorating.

In isolation - that is, when believing themselves to be alone and unique in the world - Furry Fans may not expose any blatant sign of their interest in Furry things. Perhaps something subtle and seemingly odd to the more mundane eye, such as certain bumperstickers on their cars, or vanity license plates relating to an animal species or trait or characteristic, or a tendency to consistently wear animal-related clothing attire or prints that focuses on one species or type in particular; pendants and charm bracelets highlighting one particular species - these are some of the ways to spot Furry Fans.

Well, this is enough for one comment - your remaining two concerns are worthy of comments by themselves, but I think I'll give it a rest. But as an earlier post commented, do a web search, for "(state that you live in) Area Furry Fans", and see if there isn't aready a group in your state or geographic area.

I found my local furry group on Yahoo groups. Might be a good idea, if ya really wanna find the local critters, to search the LJ communities or Yahoo groups.