Shyness

I'm not shy, but more along the lines of anti-social in large groups of people. I got at anthrocon .. kinda talked to a few people and then hid .. =O but the next day I went meh screw it I'm going go just have fun and not worry about all that!

I'm actually really intensely shy, especially around big groups of people that i don't know very well. As soon as i have a friend or two, i tend to stick to them, and it's not an issue.

AC was tough for me too, when i first started going. So i did 3 things that seemed to help some (who knows whether they're right for you, but it's a start):

1. I went to some of the social panels that interested me. I didn't talk at many of them, but i attended, and made an effort to enjoy myself.

2. I put myself into the volunteer pool. That put me in contact with a bunch of other random volunteers. It also put my in contact with the art show staff, who are, like those pecan bar thingies, a delightful mix of sweet and nut, and a small enough group that i feel comfortable with them. Staff tend to remember anyone who's sensible, friendly, and puts a good effort into the work. And doing break down and set up (not the same year) was great fun.

3. I gave myself permission to not want to be in the middle of everything, and to take my participation exactly as far as i wanted to take it. Then i forgave myself for being a shy introvert with a limited amount of bravery. Sometimes that meant that i could go hang out in the zoo but i couldn't introduce myself to anyone, or i could go to the dance but only dance in a dark corner behind the speaker, and that's ok. Sometimes that meant i'd just retreat for a little while to read or draw and watch the con go by; that's ok too. I know my limits, and i know what's a step for me and what isn't. I find sometimes it's easier for me to stretch myself a little if i know that i don't have to.

Hope that helps. *snugs* I know how hard it can be sometimes, when the con that excites you and makes you want try everything and meet everyone...also leaves you feeling a little lost and overwhelmed.

I don't know what I am: shy, introverted, asocial, or self-centered Basically, I'd rather be alone/lonely but doing something I'm interested in, than bored while "hanging out for the sake of hanging out" About the only social activity I enjoyed at AC07 was the furry trivia game - I was able to contribute and our team won! I went to furry mad-libs at AC06 and briefly hung out in the Zoo with the Tiny Toons mailing list, but neither one clicked for me

A couple of comics that sum things up for me at least:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0&date=2007/10/24&cpp=2&c=74&c=114

Thankfully between the GoHs and panels and art show/dealer's room there's enough to keep me busy during the day; it's only at night when my lack of friends in the fandom catches up with me

Ron

I can get a tad shy when it comes to being around folks I don't know. Other times I just shrug it off and go nuts. Depends on the situation I guess. It's all about how to break the ice.

Try this:
Every night, before you go to bed, tell yourself that you'll try your best to overcome your shyness and to slowly work your way up. Don't jump headfirst into it, otherwise you might overload your senses. I find that telling yourself at night as you drift off to sleep helps a bit in the "reprogramming" of your brain. If you believe that you can do it, it'll happen. Then, you'll be amazed at how easy it was and can't wait to attend AC '08.

me I'll admit I tend to hang out with a certain group of folks. Mainly the DMFA folks I know from that forum.

and while I'm not exactly shy (it's odd I can talk to anyone about anything, it happens a lot in the checkout line, I tend to hang at the back of groups and be the quiet one) I found for me anyway a good con Ice breaker is food.

This might not work for most folks but every year I make at least 8 or 9 (probably more) batches of cookies, and a good number of apple cakes to share at the con. It's always a good deal of fun. It give me an instant in to most any fur I meet. I could be standing in line or see some one who looks like they need a lift, or the mood just strikes me and "Hello would you like a Cookie? I've got strawberry, water melon, sour apple, chocolate chip..." It's odd because it pits two of my character traits against each other. My dislike of crowds, vs the joy I get when I see people eat something I made. Food usualy wins for me and after my first AC that broke down all most all my barriers...

so you're shy, so? you can still have fun. show up and just take it in. what happens happens. you know it's fun no matter what. don't let your brain overload with sick feelings. just do your thing. you'll be alright. don't let stage fright fuck with you.

If your goal is to befriend people, I suggest chatting with fellow furs online by using forums or instant messaging. ^.^ Perhaps you can form a small group, who share similar interests, which you can travel to conventions with. ^.^

hey i used to be just like you and apart of me still is. the best way that i could tell you to be more outgoing is to focus on one person at a time. for ac, i wouldnt be able to near the place unless i had at least one person that i sort of knew. so my advice is this, befriend one maybe two furs and see if they will go with you to ac then stick with them while your there and talk to the people they talk to. thats what i do i always get a sick feeling when im alone around strangers but when i am with someone i know it isnt anywhere near as bad. if you wanna chat some time email me, i promise i wont bite!!

I'm really shy (despite what some of my friends may think) and when I got to AC'07 I was not really sure what to do or where to go. Luckily, I was rooming with someone that knew -everyone- and I was introduced to everyone in the process, so I really -couldn't- be shy. One thing that I found that helped is get to know people beforehand and just focus on being around those people, that way you will at least have them. Then with everyone else, just make some conversation. You'd be surprised how friendly people are and how easy it is to lose shyness when you are engaged in interesting conversation. If you commission people or buy anything from the dealers den, talk to the people you buy from (just don't be in the way of others). A lot of the people I got to know where people that I commissioned or bought something from. Aside from that, just hang out in the zoo and try to make conversation with people. After all, everyone is there to have fun, and what is more fun than making new friends? At one point, I was sitting in the zoo and an artist I liked walked by. I told him I really enjoyed his art, and next thing I knew it was 5 hours later and we were still wrapped up in conversation. It will have to be a mix of you being willing to let go of your shyness, and other people willing to talk to ya'. ^^ Coming from a shy person, I know how hard it is to just let go, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, and at AC, you gotta have fun.

Well for starters, when you see a pretty furrie you like, complemt them and mabey they'll start a convo.

Here's my advice, which worked for me.

A) First, figure out your interests.
Look at last year's program guide as a sampler for what might be
going on this year.
Take a look at the forum as discussions come up, for plans for
this year. Find the ones that interest you.

B) Do a little homework. Learn about your subject. This is the internet
and some answers are available for a few clicks of the mouse.
That way, when you have something to say, you'll KNOW it makes sense.
If nothing else, you'll have better questions.

C) Interact on the forum. Find people with the same interest and chat
a bit. That way, you've got someone to look for, and something to talk
about with them.

D) Once you're at the convention, make sure you're groomed. You don't need
to put on any special outfit- just be neat and clean. Make sure you don't
need a haircut or shave, shower once at the beginning of the day, and
once during a mid-day break, and change into clean clothes after each
shower. (Don't overdo the cologne, use a little after using your
deodorant.) That way, you feel clean, you smell clean, and you look clean.
People won't think badly of you or avoid you based on smell or hygiene.

Show up early or on-time for events. Plan ahead so you don't have to run.
Now, you're prepared, knowledgeable, and are ready to interact with others.
The only thing left is, yes, get in there and do it.
Now, however, you have some things working for you, so it should be easier.

It might amuse you to know that panelists get nervous too- after all, you
might make a mistake for an instant- we can potentially mess up 1-3 hours of
an event! The best thing for us is what I told you-we prepare, and prepare,
and throw ourselves into our panel, and there isn't ROOM in our heads for a
lot of shyness!

I'm REALLY shy when it comes to as huge a group as AC will have...But once I settle down it's easy...Basically, find your comfort zone. If you find a few folks there that you can really attach to and be good friends with, have them help you out wherever you go. That way you won't feel alone ^.^

PKGADM Qa'a Badru Kebauet, KND

I was somewhat shy, and then they made me work registration.

And then I had co-workers for each convention and people would come up and talk to me, and I would talk back.

This helped. Volunteering is a community action, not merely in benefiting the community, but my helping you become more a part of it. And I don't mean merely at Anthrocon. If there is a local community group, charitable organization, or other opportunity for you to help out with other people.. try it. And see if your shyness doesn't start to little by little, fade.

--Chiaroscuro

I'm relatively shy myself. My first convention was last january...my first ever, a local anime convention called Ohayocon. The first two days I essentially just wandered around unsure of where to go and what to do, and then I sat down in a corner and watched the others. Someone was sitting nearby and spoke to me when I pulled out my drawing pad, and after that it sort of broke the ice I guess.

My only viable advice to others would be what has already been said, find a common topic and just say something to someone. Interaction with others seems to be a powerful way to open a person to others. If you are naturally shy even outside of conventions, then be daring and the next time you're where there will be large groups, just say something. Don't let your fear control you...and if someone doesn't like you? Heck with them, there are thousands more onsite than that person who have not gotten the chance to meet you and possibly become a friend...though then again I'm rather new here myself so I shouldn't ramble like this, eheh...

Ok..so I'm going to share a little secret. Before I started fursuiting, I was extremely shy. So much so that I didn't think I'd have a good time either.

When I started fursuiting, it was like I was putting on a whole new personality. After a while, the personality that I had while in suit, started emerging when I got out of suit. Also being a puppeteer helped a lot because people couldn't see me. So I could make my characters do things and say things without fearing what people would think of me as a person.

After a while, it got to the point where I didn't care, and started being more outgoing naturally. That's how it developed for me. Hope that helps.

KP

Meh, getting over being shy is EASY! You just take two Benadryls and before you know it, you're stumbling mindlessly amongst thousands of complete strangers totally naked and you don't care in the least!

O_O

Uhm... not that that's... ever... happened..

>_>

I was kinda shy last year at AC I got together though with 20 furends and they showed me around and I got over it. I had a lot of fun and now that I know the layout and stuff this year should prove to be even better

I am old enough to have a daughter who is 21 and I am still shy in situations with lots of people like AC. It always helps to know a few people or volunteer. I live near to where AC is held so I only went for one day last year. I liked it so much (without knowing nearly anyone there) that I've decided to go for a membership this year. But I also plan to volunteer so I can get to know more people. You've gotten a few good suggestions already and you know that the people at AC have the same interest as you do. Another suggestion is to look up the people who have replied to your post here when you are at the convention.

extremely shy here, and survived 2004, 2006, 2007 and hopefully 2008's Anthrocons

*nods* I did the same sort of self-treatment to myself for my fear of hyperdermic needles!

First, I started giving blood. But that was only one needle every month, not enough to stop the fear from growing in anticipation of the next month..

So I volunteered for paid clinical studies...

Suffice to say, that was enough needles. X_x

I flirted with de ladies.... *cue pimp music and does the pimp walk*

no seriously, wearing a fursuit is one way of just going all out. In the fursuit, you find you are kinda forced to go out of your way to get noticed and in the process, you become more outgoing and do more crazy stuff IN and out of the fursuit. So, if you got one, you might consider trying to go out into public with freinds in it more often. Pick events you know that you will get attention yet still be a little different. Like, my first public event in which I fursuited outside of a convention environment was a Renaissance Fair with a few other furs. You never want to do this kinda thing without a spotter though, so make sure you have someone to help you out. It was awesome too. I had only a few people get worked up over how we werent fitting the medieval festival theme, but everyone else LOVED it. Especially the kids.

If you dont have a suit, I wont suggest getting one JUST to try and find a way of becoming outgoing, because thats not a good idea either. Infact, In most places, I would suggest going a few years to cons without a suit on, so you can experience both sides of the fence, in an out of a suit. i see too many furs getting a fursuit only a year into their furry lives just because everyone else owns one. Though I will admit that fursuiting brings out a part of yourself you didnt think existed, I do think that most people should wait until at least a year or two after their first convention trip before going out and getting a suit.

My best advice is just relax and have fun. Remember that is what this convention is all about. Additionally, having some friends that you know that will be at the con is always a plus. I used to be the same way, AC 07, was very un-nerving for me. Now, that I have begun to relax and enjoy myself, meeting people becomes MUCH easier.

Incidently, if you are a bit shy, come to the blue Rukario suiting, and we can hang out for a bit. I love helping others overcome their challenges.

All the best,

Rukario

Well, I think you should work on developing confidence when speaking to people and being around others. You could try what works mostly for me, speaking in front of a camera at home. Work your way up from there. Works for Me.