Real Issue.... :[
When I told my parents about me bein' a furry, they were like "What? o-o" So I explained the whole fandom to them.
My mom told my Aunt about it and my aunt took it as a sexual thing and yelled at my mom. So my mom yelled at me about it. I told her about how those were not aloud at Anthrocon or any other cons.... She still doesn't believe me so when I tried showing her videos about it, she called it stupid and asked what the point of it was. "They are people like me who do it as a hobby to just go and have fun.." I explained, then she took that in a completely wrong way... :[
My dad is completely on board with the whole thing and really suporting me about it...
What should I do to change my moms mind?
Help... Please!!! D;
"When I told my parents about me bein' a furry, they were like "What? o-o" So I explained the whole fandom to them."
"My mom told my Aunt about it and my aunt took it as a sexual thing and yelled at my mom. So my mom yelled at me about it. I told her about how those were not aloud at Anthrocon or any other cons.... She still doesn't believe me so when I tried showing her videos about it, she called it stupid and asked what the point of it was. "They are people like me who do it as a hobby to just go and have fun.." I explained, then she took that in a completely wrong way... :[
My dad is completely on board with the whole thing and really suporting me about it...
What should I do to change my moms mind?"
Well,
you hop in your time machine and hand over a more sensible outline to yourself in the past.
This has been discussed in a bunch of threads before. Here's a few.
www.anthrocon.org/node/6295/need-help-explaining-furry-fandom-parents
www.anthrocon.org/node/1798/explaining-furries-my-parents
www.anthrocon.org/node/4952/explaining-furries
www.anthrocon.org/node/1250/how-explain-parents-about-furryhelp
www.anthrocon.org/node/1237/discussing-fandom-my-dad
=======================
You made at least one major mistake in what you did, and at least one major mistake in what you
did not do.
Mistake 1.
"Mom, Dad, I'm a furry."
You are a person. You have a hobby. They can understand a hobby. You presented yourself
as having changed how you define yourself.
So, you COULD have said
"Mom, Dad, I'm interested in cartoons. You know that. There's this cool convention
for people who like them also. I'd like to go."
Mistake 2.
"Mom, Dad, I have something serious to explain to you."
No, you have a silly hobby to mention. That's it.
If you liked Star Trek and wanted to attend a Trekkie con, they'd be
less scared than the portent-filled "We need to discuss something".
Now you have them worried before you even begin discussing.
They're your parents. They want to keep you safe.
You began by scaring them.
Why did you scare them about an interest in watching Bugs Bunny cartoons
or drawing Thundercats or whatever? You had no need to explain a
"whole fandom", just an event you want to attend. You had no need to
even explain a FANDOM.
Mistake 3.
You failed to do your research. We talk about this regularly. There's LOTS
of threads you could have looked over, there's stuff in the FAQ,
you could have asked "Before I talk to my parents, what should I say
WHEN I talk to them?" Now you have to do "damage control."
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
AnthroCon is a FAMILY-FRIENDLY event. I've invited my parents to attend.
The convention chair's parents attend each year.
What were you telling anyone that gave them a basis for thinking that
AnthroCon is about sex?
=========================================
Maybe you can get your Mom to read the account of a non-fan
who attended AnthroCon. This time, do your research FIRST.
Ever heard of Mark Evanier?
He's been all over the entertainment industry, working on comic books,
cartoons, television shows, and movies.
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Mark_Evanier
www.povonline.com
(Read up about him so you can show her how he worked on things
she's familiar with.)
He was a Guest of Honor at AnthroCon. He was not a member of the fandom,
and is not a member of the fandom. He was entirely an outsider looking in.
He wrote in his blog about the whole experience. (His first exposures
were actually at the convention.)
Here's some of what he said.
http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2007_07_02.html#013668
Anthrocon is — I cribbed this from their website — the world's largest convention for those fascinated with anthropomorphics, which are humanlike animal characters. It's a gathering of folks who draw, write about, dress up as or just enjoy cartoon animals. I'll tell you more about it from there.
There will be panels. On Friday afternoon at 1:30, Carolyn and I will be doing a panel about writing and drawing comic books and cartoons. On Sunday at 10 AM, Rob and I will be discussing the cartoon voice field and then at 2 PM, Carolyn and I will be talking about Pogo. There are other panels and games and presentations and exhibitors and an art show and if you're there, please say howdy. If you're not there, watch this spot for reports on what you missed.
http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2007_07_05.html#013678
We're here for the Anthrocon, which as I've explained is a convention of "furry" fans — folks with a passion for human-like animals or animal-like humans or blurring the line of demarcation between them. This fandom has endured a fair amount of mocking in the past, often from folks who oughta know better, given how their own interests have prompted ridicule from others. I come to it with my belief that, first of all, every group — up to and including those in which I am a willing participant — has its overzealous, embarrassing faction. It's not only wrong but a cheap, disingenuous trick to characterize an entire movement by its atypical element. It's kind of like those political arguments that try to tar every Republican/Conservative with the low moral standing of Ann Coulter or every Democrat/Liberal as being guilty of the sins of Lewis Farrakahn. Secondly, I figure that anything that makes people happy without making others unhappy is worthy of great respect.
http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2007_07_07.html#013681
I'm due at another event so my big discourse on Anthrocon will have to wait for another time. All I'll say for now is that this is one of the happiest conventions I've attended in 37 years of con-going. It's not about selling things. It's not about launching careers...at least, not in the way it would be if there were publishers here looking to hire. It's not even all that much about dressing up as some other species. I'll try and articulate what it is about when I don't have to rush off and shake hands. Or paws. Or whatever it is some of them have.
http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2007_07_08.html#013689
They were one of the features of Anthrocon. Another was the sheer friendliness of almost 3000 people who gathered this weekend and had, like my friend Carolyn and me, a very good time. It's a bit difficult to explain what goes on at a "furry" convention. Unlike your big comic conventions, it's not about commerce. The Dealers Room is small and the sellers mainly have furry costume parts (good place to get an extra tail) or handmade artifacts with an animal theme. There are a lot of artists around doing animal sketches for small fees and many of those artists are quite gifted and well encouraged by the experience. There's an art show. There are programming items. (Today, I did a panel with cartoon voice superstar Rob Paulsen on animation voicing and later, another with Carolyn on Pogo and the work of her father, the late Walt Kelly.) There are games and films and puppet shows — there are a lot of splendid puppeteers here — and parties. Mostly, I guess it's about seeing one another. Though this is the largest convention of its kind, it's still small enough that everyone almost seems to know everyone else.
I've received a few e-mails asking if I could explain why these folks like to dress up like animals or adopt animal nicknames or write tales of anthropomorphic animals. No, I can't. Just as I can't explain why people in this world do a lot of things that don't coincide with my tastes or interests. I don't understand why people get tattoos or pierce body parts or eat cole slaw or ride roller coasters or vote for George Bush or sleep with some of the people they sleep with...or do any of a thousand other things I could name that I cannot conceive of myself ever doing. I am, however, capable of appreciating that some who find joy in such activities are fine, good people and I would be doing myself a disservice to erect any sort of needless barrier between them and me. With the exception of the ones who vote for Bush, they do me no harm...and maybe, when they're not doing whatever it is I don't "get," they're doing something I can learn from or even want to emulate.
The folks I've met here at Anthrocon — with fewer exceptions than you'd imagine — have been decent, bright, creative and charming people. Does dressing up occasionally in a furry suit make you that way? Maybe not. If it does, I can think of a lot of people who ought to be in chipmunk costumes this very minute.
Then there's the link to the woman reporter who went to a convention specifically to report on the kinky sex things going on- except she couldn't find any no matter where she looked...
Ok, here's a few links to the article I mentioned.
This reporter selected a convention local to her in Connecticut, but as the article mentions,
it's much the same crowd as the AC attendees.
==============================
jenniferabel.blogspot.com/2008/04/hell-hath-no-furries.html
web.archive.org/web/20090628120057/http://www.hartfordadvocate.com/article.cfm?aid=3873
The reporter begins with a ton of misconceptions- in fact, she thinks exactly
what your aunt thinks, that it's some kind of sex convention.
Which is due almost entirely to manufactured "news" stories with little basis in truth.
"Your parents don't know?" I asked.
"No. They wouldn't approve."
"I don't see why. I've seen much weirder stuff at sci-fi and comic cons than anything here."
"Media sensationalism," Skunk said. "When the media does a story about Fur fandom, they pick the weirdest, most extreme people and say we're all like that."
Children's cartoons, Red Cross fundraisers, team sports and adult content kept discreetly out of sight. How wholesome.
Every half-hour I went to the bathroom to take notes in a private stall, and at 9 p.m. wrote: "May as well have gone to a Catholic school Halloween party. The dance starts in half an hour. Maybe something will happen there."
When I heard the strains of "Hungry Like The Wolf" emanating from the ballroom, I walked in to see a little toddler girl dancing with someone in a bunny suit. A minute later the girl abandoned the bunny to pull a cartoon fox onto the dance floor. She got more excited each time a new animal entered the room (good thing the mutant rabbit had left).
One man leaning against the wall surveyed the scene with a proud expression. "She's definitely my daughter," he smiled at me. "Look how much fun she's having."
"Of course," I said. "She's in a roomful of giant stuffed animals all come to life and dancing with her."
"You know," her father said reflectively, "I haven't been to a con since Anthrocon [another Furry gathering] a few years ago. These are the only people I trust. There's definitely a friendly vibe here."
There was. But what about the sex vibes I'd hoped to find? If I'd peeked behind every hotel-room door I probably would've found something, but that's true at any gathering of hundreds of people far from home. The Furry convention wasn't a sex thing but the exact opposite: an innocent world of children's-book animals, where a 3-year-old can roam with impunity and a maladjusted kid can enter the room with nobody leaving.
That was the report of someone who went in looking for perverts and sex deviants, expected to find
the place FULL of them, and came back empty-handed.
Oh, and the FAQ on this website has some answers to this as well.
If you look at the FAQ's section for minors (which, since you're a minor, you should already have read,)
you'll find the following:
www.anthrocon.org/faq/minors#explaining_furry
------------------------------------------
"My parents don't understand what Furries are (or have gotten a bad impression). How can I explain it to them?
There are two pages on this site that can help. The first is "What is Furry", and the second is "About Anthrocon". Show these to your parents. There have also been extensive discussions on our Discussion Boards that may be helpful to you such as here, here, here, and here.
A lot of young folks take the wrong tactic when trying to explain Furry Fandom to their parents, in that they spend so much time concentrating on what our fandom is not that they wind up giving a very bad impression. Tell them instead what it is. If you have any questions, you can contact us -- or better still, have your parents email us. We'd be happy to explain to them what we are all about.
You can also introduce your parents to some of our honored guests from the past. If you cannot convince your parents what Furry Fandom is all about, you can tell them, "THIS is what Anthrocon is all about.":
http://jamesgurney.com
http://web.mac.com/floydnorman/Site/Welcome.html
http://www.pogopossum.com/
http://www.shawcartoons.com/
http://www.gagneint.com/
http://www.usagiyojimbo.com/
http://www.gilchriststudios.com/
http://www.kevinandkell.com
---------------------------------------
If you go to the FAQ, you'll find links on the "here, here and here" words.
Hi Rowanoak! Blackjack's words above are full of great information. I want to highlight probably the most important part, which are the potential mistakes you made. We all learn from our mistakes! And believe me, I was about 16 when I discovered the Furry Fandom and made a few slip ups myself. Without further ado, here is the part I wanted to highlight from Blackjack. I know it's a lot, but please go back and re-read everything he said!
Mistake 1.
"Mom, Dad, I'm a furry."
You are a person. You have a hobby. They can understand a hobby. You presented yourself
as having changed how you define yourself.
Mistake 2.
"Mom, Dad, I have something serious to explain to you."
No, you have a silly hobby to mention. That's it.
Mistake 3.
You failed to do your research.
Thanks you guys, I showed my mom the "What IS a Furry" and she read it... She was relieved a little afterwards but is still suspicous...
I'll keep trying to explain it all to her..
Thanks again :]
Sounds like you've started the process of damage control. Bravo.
My advice on a next step? I'm assuming you're involved in some online community or other of furries where you have a few furry friends. So from here, i'd start treating your online friends just like your offline friends. One of them does something to irritate you? Vent to your mom. Find some pretty new piece of (non-sketchy) art? Show her. Some silly joke come up? Share it with her. Get embroiled in a really fascinating conversation? Ask her opinion. Don't go completely over the top about it, but let her get used to this interest as a part of your everyday life, and invite her in to explore it with you. If you're thinking of going to a convention, ask her if she'd like to come along. The more you treat it like something casual and non-threatening, something you're happy to share with her, the more she'll respond to that and start to see it through your eyes. And once she does that, it'll be easier for her to say, "Ok, this is weird, but my daughter is a sensible girl and she's probably just seeing something here that i don't."
*looks shifty* Just make sure you never let slip the plan for world domination...
*shadowy figure whispers to Alondro*
Oh? So that's just us bronies? Well, you know! Talking ponies; talking animals! Same difference! Ok, forget what you just heard. In fact, forget I was ever here. *waves paw* These are not the bronies you're looking for.
Well, my dad didn't know about my moms feelings so I casually brought it up, my mom was in bed at the time, I told him about a comment she had on a video I was watching on Youtube. I slowly brought in the fact about what happened. He told me that when I remind him, he'll talk to her about it.
Thanks to all of you who gave advice, ecspecially BlackJack. :]
I'm sorry that you're in such a predicament! Maybe you could ask your father if he could talk with her about the whole situation. From experience, I know that when people are in a "mood", they refuse to listen to logic and reason. Perhaps wait a week or so and then see if your dad can talk to her. After their conversation, maybe you could have a sit-down with her and explain your motives for going, and what most of the people here go for, as well. You could say that she doesn't need to make any sort of decision before she listens to your side, otherwise it'd be unfair of her to treat something that she knows barely anything about (I'm guessing) like it's a crime to exist.
There are tons of bad things in life, if you know where to look. It just so happens that some groups are attacked more for the so-called "wrong" parts of it - which are barely seen.
I hope all goes well for you!